21 December 2009

A very rare experience happened to me today. Since my unemployment, I feel as if I've entered a timelessness and with the onset of winter that feeling is even more increased, just as the light has decreased.

But back to the experience, I was standing in the grocery line, and the bottle of lavender scented bubble bath that I bought as a little treat for myself, did not scan. You know how annoying that is. So the clerk sent the bagger to run and perform a visual price check. After several moments time, and as the clerk tried to make small talk and finish up the bagging task, the runner still had not returned. So we waited. And as we waited the line began to increase behind me. I had all but transacted my business so I was starting to get a little impatient myself for his return as I had other errands to run before I could start making a lasagna for a family friend whose mother just passed away. As my mind wandered a bit, the lady in line behind me began to ask the clerk if she had a fifty dollar bill and discussing the merits of giving a gift of cash to someone she hardly knew versus giving a gift card because the gift card entailed fees and restrictions including a $4 initiation fee. We were all in agreement that the gift cards were basically a rip-off. Meanwhile, with our runner still MIA, I decline to purchase the bubble bath (I'll continue to use the dish-soap as I have for the past few weeks) and collected my change. And as I turned to leave the lady behind me said, "Thank you for making me wait, it allowed me the time to rethink my purchase and saved me $8." Well, slap me thrice and hand me to me mammy! What a nice thing to say.

And it made me realise that all to often at this sacred time of year we're all too busy rushing around and seemingly carrying the burdens of the world on our shoulders when we should just take a step back, take a breath and pause...

This year has been radically different for me than any year before. First of all, my children are grown, my youngest having reached majority earlier this year. Besides that, they are both traveling out of state to spend the holiday with their father's family. And I have been unemployed now for some 12 weeks. So the cash flow has been adversely affected. As a result I have lowered my expectations for the holiday all together. And the pay off is that I can't remember ever having a more stress-free Christmas holiday. I've taken the time to enjoy the sweetness that has been offered and I have not really missed those things that I could not manage. This awareness has offered me a gift that cannot be purchased or bartered.

Happy Solstice blessings.

No comments: