8 December

Not that I want to commemorate a date in history that I wish would never have
happened, however, it does seem that the passing of time will undoubtedly not let us
overlook it.


What I remember most about 8 December 1980 was the initial utter disbelief. How
dare the radio report such a repulsive lie. Then, as the reality slowly sunk in, the
devastating sorrow and saddness so deep that I was absolutely convinced that the
sun would not rise ever again.

But it did.

The next day I went to school and respectfully requested that the flag be lowered to half-staff. But the administrators would not as it was "not an official day of national mourning". So I lowered the flag myself and said a silent prayer on my knees. The world was mourning as I saw it.

I bought Double Fantasy, but I was too raw to play it. Instead I played "God" over and over and over. ~God is a concerpt by which we measure our pain...the dream is over~

I participated in the moment of silence as requested by Yoko and Sean. Yoko also asked that rocks from all over the globe be sent to create a memorial. I responded by sending a small rock shaped like a heart that I'd carried around for years. Later I read that Yoko received a heart-shaped rock from a girl in California and that it was part of the Imagine memorial in Central Park.

I also sent letters to Sean and Yoko for a few years. They would alays respond with a signed postcard of a photograph of Sean or one of John's lithographs. Regrettably, these precious items were some of what I lost in the breakup of my first marriage.

The 25th anniversary of one of the saddest days "in my life" will be passed in as much silence as I can possibly find.