Imaginary conversation over a breakfast table in Alaska

"Mommy, do I have to give back the clothes and shoes I got for you being President, uh, I mean Vice-President?"

"Well, yes you might dear, because the socialist, liberal, media elite says you can’t have them."

"But why Mommy? I really like these new clothes. They’re so much nicer than the flannel-lined Wranglers you make me wear at home. And I hate wearing Willow’s hand-me-downs."

"Well, darling there’s nothing wrong with hand-me-downs, you’re lucky to have a big sister to share clothes with."

"Do Willow and Bristol and Trig also have to give back their new clothes?"

"Yes, I suppose they will Sweetheart. You see the nice Republican Party gave you the clothes but the mean ol’ nasty Democrats, who aren’t real Americans anyway are making you give them back. It’s how they spread the wealth around."

Willow has now joined the conversation.

"But Mom, we learned in school that socialism is when the government provides all of your needs. Isn’t that what the Republicans did when they bought us all these nice clothes?"

"No darling, that was an “economic stimulus package” in which we supported the economy by buying stuff far beyond our own means."

"Oh."

"Mommy can I have some moose bacon for breakfast?"